Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Rambling

This post will come as a complete surprise to those that might ever check this blog, but I have the urge to write, and feel like this is a better fit than my photography blog.  Blogging used to be such an outlet for me, almost like a diary, where I chronicled the good, the bad and sometimes even the ugly.  Let's be honest, the blog world is FULL of the good, so much so that it's often very deflating to a busy mom that feels like all she does is shuttle kids everywhere and is doing good if everyone's fed and in bed before 11, and then sits down to work or starts laundry. 

Add to the blog world, pinterest, where everyone is so stinkin' creative and their kids rooms are amazing, and oh by the way, they also do fun crafts everyday.  I don't know about you, but that is nothing like my life.  I would love to waste away hours on pinterest, but honestly never get on it unless I'm stuck waiting somewhere with cell service.  Sure, there are great ideas, but honestly, I like being original and having things others haven't seen.  With Pinterest, everyone I know has already seen it.  BUT, this has nothing to do with why I started writing tonight!! 

Sometimes, I crave the anonymity that I used to have on my blog.  I admit that I spent way too much time thinking of blogging, etc., but it was also a great release for me.  Now that I blog primarily on my photography blog, it's almost never about me or my family.  I think about it all of the time, but it rarely comes to fruition because I feel like I owe that space to my clients, and if I have time to blog then it should be pretty pictures.  I also second guess everything I type there.  I'm a pleaser at heart, and Lord forbid I write something that turns someone off.  It was so much easier when the things I said didn't affect a business that affects our livelihood as a family.  I am SO thankful for my photography business, and seriously amazed at all that has happened over the past 4 years.  I never would've dreamed that me signing up for a night class to learn how to use my camera would result in all that it has. 

Last Wednesday night at church a question was asked about what person did you realize you'd been missing out on once they came into your life (or something to that effect).  A few select people came to mind that have become lifelong friends over the past several years, and then a slew of clients came to mind.  I've met so many people through my wonderful job that I never would've met before.  I almost always end up finding a small connection to them in the world which is so crazy, and I'm telling the truth when I say for the most part, I have been nothing but blessed by them!  Of course, it's still a business and there are bumps in the road, but I count myself so lucky to be on this ride.  The funny thing is that another part of the Bible study was about believing that something was a part of God's plan for you and then after it was over (or as it was happening), you realize maybe it wasn't HIS plan at all, but just yours.  As much as I love what I do, I often find myself wondering that about this path that I'm on.  I adore what I do, and honestly couldn't imagine ever going back to a corporate desk job, but this job is also very stressful.  There is a very not fun part of photography that involves me sitting at a desk almost every spare hour of the day, and friends, it's exhausting.  A big big part of that is me learning to say no and to stick to my guns and to realize that time with my family is more important than the extra gig.  It's a hard lesson to learn and an even harder one to remember in the moment.  It's always, "well, just one more" or "just for this one client" and on and on and on until I find myself with no days off and lots of late nights/early mornings at my desk. 

And, y'all, my kids are growing up too fast, and it is killing me.  Everytime I think about them having another birthday, my heart rate accelerates and I feel a little panicked.  I feel like time is slipping through my fingers so quickly, and I just want to soak it all in!  In an ideal world, I'd some super organized mom who can do it all and keep her cool, but I am not that woman!  The stress of this job has made me someone I don't want to be.  Someone that is tired, quick tempered and honestly not so nice to those people that are closest to me. I know that time is running out to make those lasting impressions and the memories that my children will recall decades from now, and it scares me to death that they'll be ugly ones and not happy ones.  I'm not sure that all of this means that photography wasn't a part of God's plan.  Actually, I am quite certain that it was.  But, I also feel a strong tug at my heart to get things under control and in balance and quickly before I miss some of the most precious times in my life.  And so, I'm praying.  Praying for guidance and strength as I attempt to make some changes and stand firm in what I know needs to happen in my life...and you know maybe that I could be that calm, cool, collected, crafty momma too!  can't hurt!






Thursday, June 2, 2011

Anyone Here??

I seriously doubt anyone will see this, but occasionally I do see where I get a hit or two here still. I MISS MY BLOG in a BAD BAD way!! I have an unpublished post that I type things in that I want to remember. I just read back through it, and I hadn't added anything in months. I am missing documenting my daily life. If for nothing else, so that my children can go back and read the words I wrote about them and how much I loved living life with them. I am seriously considering revitalizing this blog! Now that I have a laptop, at least I can add photos from another location, etc. Not that I have time for blogging, but we'll see what summertime brings :)!


Friday, October 8, 2010

Abandonment

So this blog has pretty much totally been abandoned....sorry 'bout that for the 5 of you that still check it occasionally! I am going to just post on my photography blog for the time being. I'll probably keep this here..or not. I'm undecided about that, but I do know that personal posts will now be at www.chesleysummarphotography.com. I love for my clients to feel comfortable with me, and I feel like when they know a little more about me personally, it happens a lot quicker. That's the main reason I'm consolidating. Who am i kidding?! haha I don't have time for 2 anymore. Anyway, thanks for being there when I was here :-)



Sunday, August 22, 2010

Blast from the Past

I am in the process of moving files from one hard drive to another, and last night, I came across this video of Grant singing a little Taylor Swift. This is from July of 2008, so Grant would've been just over 3. He looks (and sounds) so little in this. Love it, but wow it makes me really long for time to slow down even more!

Untitled from Chesley Summar on Vimeo.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Thinking

So, you may have noticed I don't ever post here.... I'm thinking I'm going to make this blog private just for the purpose of keeping the posts for myself, but I'm going to just post on my photography blog. I like the layout there better & the ease of uploading photos is SO MUCH EASIER!! I really love sharing small bits of me over there. I have so much to say that I'm hesitant to post anywhere, and that's one of the reasons I haven't blogged. I'm behind on pretty much everything & kindergarten is the devil..I'm sure of it.

Anyway... What do you think? Would it be easier if everything was over there or does no one but me really care since no one really reads this anymore?! :-)!


Saturday, July 31, 2010

"Summar" Fun!!

I uploaded these pics forever ago, and kind of forgot to do the blog post! I do want to document my summer a little bit here, since I've been such a slacker printing any pictures or anything else. We have had great times at the pool this year. Although, we still have to watch our children closely, it's so nice not to have to be on top of them all of the time.

I think Claire enjoys the snacks as much as anything else at the pool. (This was July 4th).

Grant doing his best fountain pose!

On the 4th of July, we all camped out at Nana & Papa's. My kiddos and two of their cousins slept on an air mattress. Can you tell they were tired?!!
I just cannot get enough of this sweet face, especially when she has pig tails. I tell ya, I could inhale her most days! I just hate these from the back! The anal person in me wants a perfectly straight line, and it is just not possible!

To celebrate my birthday, we went to a local steakhouse on the lake where ducks congregate and wait for bread. They are VERY tame. One literally had his beak on my mom's leg. I did not have a zoom lens on when I shot this. That bird was up in my face! AFLAC!

Grant loved messing with them!

We went to some movie in the park thing, but had no clue they had "water" stuff there to do so we didn't have swimsuits for the kids. Grant just dove right in with shorts on, but Miss Priss would not think of it without proper attire. Gotta love that porta potty background! This is also about 2 days after successful potty training & wouldn't you know she needed to go here?! She learned the art of successful squatting behind a hedge much earlier than I had planned!

The firemen were there spraying the kids with the fire hose. Since it was right at sunset, the light through the water was just so pretty!

They also had ice cream at this event, and of course, we did not miss out on that!




July has gone by in a flash! How can it be that my little boy starts kindergarten next week???????? To say I'm a wreck is an understatement. I will do that post on its own next week so it has it's own space here, but I absolutely cannot believe we are coming to this point in his (our) life! It goes by way too fast!


Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time, I blogged regularly about my family, and I enjoyed it! I uploaded my pictures regularly, and (gasp!) even printed them! Lately, I've been hanging out more over here, and I am having a blast! However, I'm not sleeping much and my own stuff has really taken a back seat. I miss blogging about my personal life, but it feels like a bit of a burden right now. So...the posts are few and far between..and so are the readers it seems :-)! Here are just a few pictures of the last few weeks for my own sanity.


Grant had a swimming party for his birthday after we got back from Disney. It rained pretty much the whole time, but I don't know if the kids even noticed.


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Claire really enjoyed the cake...she is my child after all :-)!

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Grant in his car seat...love his sparkly eyes in this shot and the fact that this isn't a fake cheesy smile.

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This is a pathetic photograph, but my girl is cute nonetheless with her make shift pig tails.
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Grant learned to swim!!!!! A switch flipped 2 weeks ago, and he is officially a water rat! I couldn't be prouder of him!
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and neither could he!
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Claire enjoyed her first pedicure with me and my niece. This is what she picked for her birthday present from us. I'm so glad because it was a great excuse for me to go too!
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Please note that my toes are not really this far apart! I was trying not to fall backwards while bending down with my 12 lb camera taking this pictures...ha
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Hope you had a wonderful 4th of July! Maybe I'll post pics of ours round about late August!